Meet Dr. Carleta Alston

AWAY WITH DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

One of the tenets of leadership is to accept when the time comes to have difficult conversations. Part of the reason leaders struggle with this responsibility is because they may not have had successful conversations in the past.

What went wrong?

There is a plethora of reasons for a conversation to go off the rails, and leaders who are cognizant of the danger zone in a difficult conversation can avert a catastrophe.

Unfortunately, leaders who are not adept at the skill of managing difficult conversations only exasperate the situation. They may plunge in too quickly with accusations before ever doing a root analysis. They may also lead with irrational emotional language. This faux pas speaks to a lack of judgment, evidence, and logic.

TIPS FOR HAVING A SUCCESSFUL CONVERSATION

In order to have a successful conversation with an employee or colleague, the leader must see the employee as a human being first. Simple recognition is overlooked and sets a dismissive tone in the meeting

Here are a few important things to remember during a difficult conversation:

  1. Acknowledge the employee in the room by name, eye contact, and a handshake. The employee will be put at ease and feel recognized.
  2. Listen and refrain from having a prepared speech. By allowing an organic conversation to take place, the leader is in the driver's seat and able to steer the conversation along.
  3. Suspend judgment until all of the facts have been presented. Give the employee the benefit of the doubt.
  4. Make room for the employee to voice his/her concerns without fear of reprisals
  5. Exercise empathy because there is a reason the conversation escalated to this difficult meeting. Try to understand the underlying problems from the employee's point of view.

The sign of good leadership is understanding and practicing good compassionate skills when conducting difficult conversations with employees or colleagues.

It is one of the potential strengths of a leader that gets underdeveloped. However, with these recommendations, any leader can shift from contention to contentment and do away with the dreaded difficult conversations.